I just found all of these black critters playing around on my vageene. Well I'll tell you something, if Pixar is filming "A Bug Life's 2" down there, they are going to be severely disappointed with what it is going to happen with their cast and their sets. I guess it's that time of the year to use the pubic lice shampoo again...

So anyways, about Thomas. We were doing it the other night, and I ended up in the hospital with what a doctor calls a colon perforation. He says I need to stop having penetrative vaginal intercourse with full-sized stallions, which I didn't understand, so I asked him what he meant, he just said "you know what I mean." I guess it will be a while before I really do know what he means?

He also said it was also very unhygienic to have inter-species relations, that is when I found out that Thomas was an illegal alien. I kept asking what planet he was from but he kept talking in his strange alien language. So I ended my relationship with Thomas, and told him to get the F out of my life.

Thankfully this has changed me politically for the better, I am going to form a group that is against illegal alien immigration, so people don't have to suffer the pain of what I did. Look at the good I do.