I just found all of these black critters playing around on my vageene. Well I'll tell you something, if Pixar is filming "A Bug Life's 2" down there, they are going to be severely disappointed with what it is going to happen with their cast and their sets. I guess it's that time of the year to use the pubic lice shampoo again...

So anyways, about Thomas. We were doing it the other night, and I ended up in the hospital with what a doctor calls a colon perforation. He says I need to stop having penetrative vaginal intercourse with full-sized stallions, which I didn't understand, so I asked him what he meant, he just said "you know what I mean." I guess it will be a while before I really do know what he means?

He also said it was also very unhygienic to have inter-species relations, that is when I found out that Thomas was an illegal alien. I kept asking what planet he was from but he kept talking in his strange alien language. So I ended my relationship with Thomas, and told him to get the F out of my life.

Thankfully this has changed me politically for the better, I am going to form a group that is against illegal alien immigration, so people don't have to suffer the pain of what I did. Look at the good I do.

I have a confession. I have been seeing someone recently.

Hish name is Thomas, and me and him are clicking so well and getting along great. When I talk to him, he seems to understand me, and he isn't too great of a kisser, but I'm teaching him. He's quite strong, a fast runner, and he has a beautiful body. He's also got a pretty big penish...hehehehe! Oh boy, do I LOVE to ride him!

Anyway, me and him were out for a picnic the other day in the fieldsh and I decided to take a photo of him. Here's a picture of my wonderful new boyfriend!

WELL HELLO!

I'M JUST A LITTLE UPSET.

Why?

NO ONE HAS BOTHERED LISTENING TO MY AUDIO PORTAL ENTIRES. NOBODY!!!

I made myself pregnant.

Please listen to these and rate accordingly!
Bren Dad Ickson (The Original Mix)
Bren Dad Ickson (Absolutely Yumsh Remix!)

-Brendad Ickson

P.S. here's me with Fabio! He smells like trouser gravy.

Well hello junkies! Welcome to my 11th news post!

My DVD, "Welcome To My Home", is now on sale at my website for only $20! This totally beats selling my jewelry collection.

The critics are raving! Have a look:

"The quality is outstanding!!! It's like high definition, only better!!! I would gladly pay $50 for such a high quality product!! Simply flawless, I felt like I was inside Brenda's house!! And the new "footage" of Brenda is amazing, there is so much new content, it took me days to watch!!"
- aerofanz from my website blog

So NOW, if anyone says anything negative about my DVD, then I NOW HAVE THE EVIDENCE TO PROVE THAT IT ISN'T TRUE! SO IF ANYONE SAYS ANYTHING NEGATIVE, I WILL SUE YOU!!! COUNT ON IT MOTHERFU--oh pardon me. I seemed to have sullied myself.

I guess that's what you get when you open your legs for the seagulls, and have a scorching case of herpes. What can I say? It's a huge part of MOTHERFUCKING fashion!

By the way, I slept with Walter Cronkite for a sawbuck. Now get the hell out of here.

Welcome to my 10th news post! First, thank your breasts, then thank your daddy, always in that order.

I've teleport myself into the future to welcome you into my home! I've finally gotten into that whole thing the Jonas Brothers call "Twatter", and it's a huge part of fashion! I update my Twatter page at least twice daily, and you can follow me to see what I am doing in my life exclushively!

What will Brendad Ickson do today? You never know...unless you follow my Twatter!

As well, I...oh dear me, I forget what I was going to write next. You can't remember a thing when you have syphilis!

Well hello. Welcome to my ninth news post! Isn't it fashion?

I have some exchiting news! I am re-releasing my vanity home video "Welcome To My Home", with 8 minutes of never-before-seen out-takes thish week! My video shhhows you how to put makeup on over your makeup, and then tattoo your makeup on. It also shhows you the right way to diet, by not eating shprouts and lettece, because when you consume those, they keep growing in your stomach, and they make your puffay.

They do, I tell you THEY DO THEY DO!

That was acting. Thank you.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go and bleach my vageene. Kudos me! I made myself sterile.

Here's a picture of me on the red carpet, with my red drapes, which match my red carpet. Isn't it FASHION?!

I AM SO SICK OF YOU MORONSH POSTING THOSE DAMN VOICEOVER VIDEOS BY DEVEN GREEN USING MY COPYRIGHTED 1987 HOME VANITY VIDEO TITLED "WELCOME TO MY HOME!!!"

By the way, if you want to buy "Welcome To My Home", it will be available for sale on my website soon.

I WILL NOT TOLERATE THIS ANY LONGER! YOU HAVE ALL BEEN WARNED. THE NEXT PERSON WHO UPLOADS THE VIDEOS TO YOUTUBE OR ANY VIDEO WEBSITE AGAIN WILL BE SHOWN THE SPAM JAVELIN, BE FORCED TO EAT COUSCOUS, AND STARE AT RETARDED FUNNY BUTTONS MADE BY A CHIPEWYAN TRIBE!

I must say I like Chipewyan fashion though, it makes me look very native north american.

I HAVE FILED SEVERAL COPYRIGHT CLAIMSH WITH YOUTUBE AGAINST USERS POSTING THE VOICEOVERS. YES, I'M LIKE THAT. IF YOU EVEN USE MY NAME IN YOUR VIDEO, I WILL COPYRIGHT CLAIM IT! MY NAME IS CURRENTLY PATENT PENDING, SO IF YOU USE MY NAME FOR ANYTHING, I WILL TAKE YOUR ASS TO COURT!

Speaking of courts, I'm very good at tennis, especially when I hit the balls.

SO PULL YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASSES AND STOP BEING SUCH IDIOTS! I AM THE ALL MIGHTY BRENDAD! FEAR ME!

Love,
REGARDS,
Brendad Ickson
BRENDAD ICKSON

Well hello! Welcome to my 7th newsh post!

I'm pleashed to announcesh that a week ago today, I finally reached 60! Chester would be proud!

Now I can finally get the senior citizen discount when going to the moviesh! But I'll probably say I'm under age, you know, because the men that tag around with me think I'm a 40 year old desperate houshwive...lol! What can I say, I fuck frat boys! It's a huge part of fashion!

Welcome to my 6th news post!

Gobble Gobble junkiesh! It's that time of month again for me. Yesh, I still bleed out of my vageene.

I've teleport myself into the future to make a news post to update everybody on how I am doing!

I don't know if you have heard yet, but I'm hard presshed for money in thish terrible economy! I recently just had to throw ads up online to sell my services, and some of my beloved jewelery! Then I got a letter from my lawyers saying that my ex-husband was claiming it in the divorce! (as well as my services.) I'm busy taking umbrage with that right now, so I'm putting my 3rd HIGHLY ANTICIPATED flashhhh movie on hold for bit! (Sorry Constantine!)

By the way, what'sh the deal with people with Alzheimer's using weed? They're just going to forget it anywaysh!

I love looking like an ejaptian goddess!

Well hello! Welcome to my 5th news post! It's a post full of fashion. My 3rd commentary will have to wait until next week, for I am busy preparing for something HUGE. Until then, welcome to my music video!

I'm wearing chester as a coat right now and it looks absolutely GORGEOUS. Animal fur is just full of fashion, especially when you get to skin them yourself!